You don't have to go through domestic abuse alone - help is available
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Domestic abuse can affect anyone - regardless of age, gender, disability, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. It can take many forms, but one thing is always true: no one deserves to be mistreated by a partner or family member.
If you’re experiencing abuse of any kind, please know it’s not your fault. You’re not alone, and there are people who care and support services ready to help. Learn more below about your options and where to find support.
Domestic abuse is when someone aged 16 or over harms a current or former partner, or a family member, who is also 16 or over — even if they don’t live together. Abuse can happen anywhere: in the home, in public, or online.
To see the full legal definition of domestic abuse please follow this link: Domestic Abuse Act 2021.
Please click on each word below to find out what this may look like:
This can look like (but is not limited to):
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This can look like (but is not limited to):
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‘Honour’ based abuse, including so-called ‘honour killings’, is a form of abuse rooted in the perceived need to protect or defend the honour of a family or community. It often arises in contexts where strict beliefs about honour and shame are upheld. When someone is thought to have brought shame on their family - whether through their actions or even rumours - they may be subjected to violence or abuse.
This can include being in a relationship not arranged by the family, choosing a partner from a different religion or background, dressing in a way that is considered inappropriate, refusing an arranged marriage, leaving a marriage, or being LGBTQ+. Any of these reasons - whether real or perceived - may be used to justify abusive behaviour under the guise of ‘honour’.
‘Honour’ based abuse can take many forms, including physical violence, threats, forced marriage, being confined at home, being taken abroad against one’s will, and, in the most extreme cases, murder - referred to as ‘honour killing’.
Speaking out is often incredibly difficult, as the abuse is frequently carried out by close or extended family members - individuals the victim may still love or fear harming through legal action. But no tradition or belief justifies abuse. Help and support are available for those at risk.
Female genital mutilation (FGM) is a procedure where the female genitals are deliberately cut, injured or changed, but there's no medical reason for this to be done. It's also known as female circumcision or cutting, and by other terms, such as Sunna, gudniin, halalays, tahur, megrez and khitan, among others.
FGM is usually carried out on young girls between infancy and the age of 15, most commonly before puberty starts. It's illegal in the UK and is abuse. It's very painful and can seriously harm the health of women and girls. It can also cause long-term problems with sex, childbirth and mental health.
A forced marriage is one in which one or both people do not give their full and free consent to the marriage. It’s important not to confuse this with an arranged marriage, where both individuals have the right to choose whether or not to marry.
Forced marriage is sometimes wrongly seen as a cultural or traditional practice - but in reality, it is a serious violation of human rights and a form of domestic abuse. Victims may be deceived into travelling abroad, have their passports taken away, face threats of violence, or be subjected to emotional pressure and coercion.
Forced marriage can affect anyone. This includes (but is not limited to) individuals who simply do not want to marry a particular person, children under the legal age of marriage in the UK, and LGBTQ+ individuals who are pressured into marrying someone of the opposite sex against their will.
To show our ongoing commitment to supporting any of our customers or colleagues who are affected by domestic abuse, we’ve signed the ‘Make a Stand’ Pledge that was launched in June 2018 by the Chartered Institute of Housing, in partnership with Women’s Aid and the Domestic Abuse Housing Alliance (DAHA), and we're also DAHA Accreditation members. This means that we’ve committed to:
At Moat if you disclose domestic abuse to us, we will hear you and our specially trained staff will work with you to design a support plan specific to you, considering your needs. We will respect your right to make decisions that are safe for you without judgement.
You can read our Domestic Abuse Policy here.
If you're in immediate danger, we'll always encourage you to contact the police on 999 if you are able to do so. For other ways to contact the police please see below.
If you’re a Moat customer, or the person abusing you is a Moat customer, we also encourage you to contact us so that we can help.
If you need help because of domestic abuse, you can call the police on 999 in an emergency or 101 in a non-emergency. If you’re deaf, hard of hearing or speech-impaired, you can register your mobile phone with the emergency SMS service – you’ll then be able to send an SMS text message to 999 to get help.
If you’re unable to talk, you can still call 999 - listen to the operator and respond by coughing or tapping the keys on your phone. Calling 999 from a landline automatically gives the police information about your location. If calling from a mobile, you can press 55 when prompted and your call will be transferred to the police.
Clare’s Law / Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS)
Clare's Law, also referred as the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS), enables the police to disclosure a person's history of abusive behaviour to those who may be at risk from such behaviour.
Under Clare’s Law, you have the right to:
How to make a Clare’s Law request:
Call your local police on 101 or follow the links for your area:
Essex - Request information under Clare's Law: Make a Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS) application | Essex Police
London (Met) - Request information under Clare's Law: Make a Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS) application | Metropolitan Police
It takes real courage to reflect on your behaviour and recognise that it may be harmful or abusive towards a partner or loved one. Abuse is a learned behaviour — and what’s been learned can be unlearned. Change is possible if you're willing to take that step, and support is available to help you make it happen.
If you’re being abusive your partner, ex or family member, help to stop is available from:
If you're not ready to contact a local support service but want to learn more about what abuse looks like, please use any of the following links to find out more:
If you have a family pet, we understand this will be a big concern for you if you are planning to leave, as many temporary accommodations, including refuges, do not allow pets. We understand you will not want to leave your pet and will want to ensure that your pet is safe.
Luckily, there are charities who offer free support for you and have volunteers who will temporarily rehome your dog or cat until you find yourself alternative accommodation.
To find out more please follow the links below:
Dogs Trust Freedom Project - Freedom Project | Dog Fostering Support | Dogs Trust
Cats Protection Paws Protect - Paws Protect | Fostering for families of domestic abuse | Cats
The law now recognises that children who are around or witness domestic abuse are now victims in their own right.
If you are concerned about a child, please follow the links below to find out more and how you can help:
How to Protect Children From Domestic Abuse | NSPCC
Effects of domestic abuse on children | Barnardo's (barnardos.org.uk)
However you have kept yourself safe up until now, there may come a time where the safest option for you is to leave your home. Please make sure you have considered your options very carefully and have sought advice where possible to do so. The following links may help you to decide your safest option and take things into consideration. Although the pages are tailored to women, if you identify as male or non-binary, you can still use these for advice:
If you need to leave your home urgently because of domestic abuse, you can contact any local authority (council) for help. They have a legal duty to provide you with support as someone facing homelessness. This often includes offering emergency temporary accommodation or helping you access a place in a refuge. You will never be forced to accept accommodation if it doesn’t feel safe or suitable for you.
If you leave your home urgently it is important that you let us know as soon as possible – you can do so by contacting us.
We understand you may not want to discuss this with us, so please see list of other national and local services who can help you.
You can also follow this link for a full list of services available in your area:
Women's Aid Directory - Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk)
The Bright Sky website and free Bright Sky app are for anyone who’s experiencing domestic abuse or worried about someone else, but please only download the app if it’s safe for you to do so and you’re sure that your phone isn’t being monitored. They include lots of useful information and advice in a number of languages and a UK-wide directory of specialist domestic abuse support services with contact details.
National domestic abuse support services:
Local domestic abuse support services:
For more information about local support services please contact your local authority.
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